BLOOD DONOR, ANYONE?
1 October 2006

I will never stop getting amazed. Unfortunately I usually get amazed in a kind of scary/scared way - about how certain things in our society work. Both globally in a political context but also in a very local context, such as interactions between people or about structures in society. Frequently the only justification why things are the way they are ... is "just because they are". Thanks, that' not very helpful.

Last time I had this feeling was when my 76 year old grandmother recently needed to undergo a complicated leg surgery. She was of course very worried, both about her terrible pain but also if she ever will be able to walk properly again. This scenario alone would be enough to make most people feel depressed. What you do not expect is to be told by the doctor (on the same day as the surgery) that you need to compensate for your blood transfusion by finding 4 blood donors, urgently! My grandmother lives in Poland and is a devote Catholic. This method of using guilt made her even more anxious. How would she manage to find four blood donors when being in the hospital (where she had to stay for 3 weeks) without a phone? Luckily a good friend helped out and found four donors in two days. They were all very happy when my grandmother gave them 50 Zloty as compensation...

Blood shortage seems to be a problem in most countries - but certainly the policy requiring patients to find donors themselves almost on the spot is a bit questionable. If there is not enough blood, the State must offer us bigger carrots-a biscuit and some juice is not enough!

TEACHING A MAN HOW TO CLEAN
1 October 2006

My boyfriend of 3 years is a very modern man, very enlightened and bright. We have had many talks about how to have a balanced relationship, who to do what in the household and about what we, realistically, can expect from eachother. We firmly believe in equality at home and that we share work tasks fairly. So far so good.

He is very good at pointing out when he has done something which actually spared me time. Like doing the dishes or doing the laundry. Of course this all makes me happy. He also pays all bills and deals with other paper-work. Those typical man tasks.

Today he told me about a friend who is an extreme highflyer, as is the friend's brother, and their father. I asked what the mother does. Apparently she is a housewife. She always used to cook them dinner when they came home from Uni, very busy with their uni assignments. Their mother always had a meal ready for them. THAT is my boyfriend's most vivid memory of the mum of 3 (highflyers).

Typical. I told him that without their incredible mother, probably none of them would be a highflyer today. Just imagine they had to deal with "usual" stuff, like groceries, laundry or hoovering. Not to mention ironing their business suits and thinking about what to cook every night. How much time and energy would they have left to deal with their professional lives? There are exceptions, but in general I think most women can agree that: Without women, most men are slightly lost.

Back to my Man. Yesterday he cooked me a lovely Caribbean meal. Today I cleaned the whole flat. He had to work, and it is ok for me to clean once in a while without his help when I know he needs the time differently. But just for the sake of not feeling that he made too good of a deal, I asked him to hoover under the bed. After 90 seconds he was done - and to his anger I checked it out. After all I don't want to have heaps of dirt under the bed. And I was right. He had not even moved the boxes (that he so badly wants to store there). It was SO dusty, enough for mice to build a little house.

I am just wondering if I am too picky. I certainly do not think so. But sometimes it feels like I am trying to teach an old dog to sit - I have told him 10 times about the dust under the bed and every time he says "okok, alright, now I know, next time I'll do it your way". But, voila, next time always becomes "next time". One day I will stop hoovering there and we'll get a mini zoo under the bed with different kinds of creeps, insects and mice running around. Then he will need to call Anticimex and say claim that he was the one who took measures to get rid of the creeps. Such a hero he would be!